The Worst Ones of All

We've all had bad dates -- with people with bad manners, people who are cheap, liars, cheats, boring people (really the worst!). But I am going to argue tonight that the worst dates of all are the ones that you thought went really well -- and you never hear from the guy (or gal) again. These dates don't end in crazy stories. You can't talk bad about the guy to your friends. There's a good chance the problem is you. Nothing good comes out of these good/bad dates.

Before I dive into this topic, I will admit to being the gal someone never hears from again. It's rude, and I'm not proud of my track record there. Ok...full disclosure accomplished.

I recently had a date that I thought went really well. It wasn't a "thunderbolt" date, but I thought there was a pretty solid connection, we had a great conversation, read a lot of the same books, seemed to have a lot in common in general. We spent two hours having a lively conversation. We parted ways with the understanding that we'd see each other again.

He left a message. I called back and left a message. Then the phone lines went dead. Stone cold. Nothing. Crickets.

And that's when the date took on epic proportions. Don't pretend you haven't done this at least once -- I picked the date apart minute by minute, word by word. I listed every conceivable mistake, faux pas and potentially offensive thing. I stared at myself in the mirror wondering if my strong Scandinavian features made me look like a man (broad cheekbones CAN suck...trust me). Did I sound stupid? Could he tell that I never finished "The World is Flat" even though I pretended to? Is there the smallest chance I cringed when he said he had kids from a previous marriage? Was I -- gasp! -- boring??

It's when the residue of the date begins to erode your tenuous self-esteem that makes it really bad. There are so many questions that make you doubt yourself after one of these trick dates: how could I have misread the date? Am I a bad date? Am I ugly? Was he really not a good guy -- and why couldn't I tell that? Why did I say that one thing that I knew I shouldn't have? Could he tell I needed a fresh pedicure? Did I talk about myself too much (probably...)?

These are the dates that make me the craziest -- even though when they're happening, I'm having as much fun as you can have on a first date. Is it a good date? A bad date? An evil trick by the fates? You tell me.